On Buying New
How I shop.
When I first set this as my prompt for Issue #009, I planned to write about my own personal hot tips for shopping online. Maybe I would walk through my purchase of something new, and then show all the ways I might style it. Demonstrate my three outfit rule in action!
But, 24 hours later, I was already feeling conflicted about it. The world is heating up! The fashion industry is a major culprit! Planned obsolescence makes it harder every day for us (the consumer) to ensure that we’re spending money on quality! Should I be encouraging people to buy new, even indirectly, when there are more than enough clothes already in the world for all of us to get dressed forever?
It’s important to me to try to frame shopping in a somewhat positive context—I don’t want to add to the general sense of helplessness and fatigue. I also personally find that, when it comes to climate action, quitting something cold turkey is just not realistic for many people. And quitting shopping altogether has never been realistic for me. I love to shop! Not all the time, not every day, but it does bring me a lot of joy. I could have pivoted this week to talk more about shopping the abundance of clothes already in the cycle– thrifting, tailoring, buying secondhand. But the truth is I live in Brooklyn! A vintage and thrift store mecca! So the majority of the clothes I buy in person already are secondhand. If I were going to write an issue specifically about online shopping, then I would be entering the territory of the brand new.
Unlike the low-key overwhelm that hits when I am trying to pick something to watch on Netflix, the abundance of clothing for sale online does not paralyze me. It frees me! I can be so specific! The sheer amount of product makes me feel that I can also be unique! And, if I’m really good, I can do it all on sale. I find the whole process to be really freaking fun. Alsoooooo: when it comes to shopping new and online, being a person with limited disposable income encourages me to be intentional. I can’t really afford to make money mistakes on impulse buys, trend shopping, or stuff of really poor quality. In learning to be an intentional shopper I have developed a set of tricks to help me avoid rash purchases and spend my cash on things I really want.
If you are reading this, it’s November 27th (or after), and we are smack dab in the middle of the most dangerous time of year for those of us who hear the siren call of online shopping. The holiday sales are just excellent. And gifting is one of my love languages, so I’m on the interweb anyways, trolling for Christmas presents. Which means, lest I create total anarchy in my checking account, the rules and tricks I’ve put in place for myself are in full play.
So, this week, I will talk about things I have purchased online: how I narrowed in on them, and why I decided to buy them. But I will also offer you some of these tricks (rules? habits? defenses against blind consumerism?) amidst the current shopping mania, in the hopes that one or two might resonate, and all our checking accounts (and the planet) might be better off.
Tricks (For Treats!):
1.) The List
I love the list! My list is titled “One Nice Thing” (as in I can gift myself one nice something every now and then), but you can call yours anything you like. I make sure it is accessible from my phone and my computer. And anything I see online that gets the heart pumping goes on the list. The purpose of this list is twofold. The first is that I like to keep a record of what I’m looking at and loving online, and it’s nice to have it all in one place if I want to go back for a second look. [Editor’s note: my sis also points out that this keeps me from having one million tabs open at all times.] The second and most important function of the list is that it is my number one defense against impulse buying. I don’t “Add To Cart.” I put it on the list. And then I have to walk away.
The WALKING AWAY is so important! It cools any frenzy that has been inspired by an advertisement or an influencer or capitalism in general. Hopefully when I walk away it’s to exercise, or cook something, or, IDK, talk to another human being! Which lets my body recalibrate on how badly I really want the thing. And! It also allows my creative brain to spin a little bit—many times I can achieve the feel of something I liked online with clothes I already have in my closet. Often the new item that inspired that look can live and die on the list. Banking accounts rejoice! This is why we love the list! It protects me from myself. THEN, if I am still thinking about something days or weeks later, I know where to find it, and I can seriously consider buying it or saving up for it.
2.) The Three Outfit Rule
I’ve mentioned the three outfit rule before: If I want to buy something new, I have to be able to make three outfits with it, rapid fire, using stuff I already own. That doesn’t mean the new item can’t be wacky or funky or different from my current closet lineup! In fact, all the better if it is. But if I can’t imagine wearing it more than one way, it’s a red flag.
Admittedly it’s pretty easy to style a pair of pants three ways, but my criteria when buying these pants was that they functioned like jeans do, in a broad casual-to-semi-fancy range, but were a bit more comfortable than denim. Et voila! The pants.
3.) The Phone Album
I keep a photo album on my phone titled, *dress emojis.* That album works like this: If I wear an outfit I like, and I take a picture in it out and about, it goes in the album. If I screenshot a look I like online, it goes in the album. It takes .5 seconds to add pics to this thing, and then, when I am feeling uninspired, or I want to get a sense of what I have in my closet, or I am trying to style a potential new purchase in my head, I can glance through this album. Very helpful for the application of the three outfit rule! Maybe that sounds like a bit much to you (I have a lot of Virgo placements!), but I’m telling you, it’s actually kind of fun. It’s like having your own version of the Clueless closet. And, when I am resisting the urge to buy new, I have proof that honestly, I’m good. No new stuff needed.
The other thing my photo album does is give me a sense of my personal style. A lot of millennials on the internet have probably encountered Allison Bornstein’s three word method. Which I really like! But I also think style is transient, and I personally find that, as soon as I settle on three words, I remember an outfit or find a photo of me in some outfit that breaks that pattern. My photo album allows me to glance at what I’m actually wearing real time, and see how it all fits together.
The benefit of picking your style words, keeping a photo album, or otherwise defining your personal style is that it can help aim your purchase power towards stuff you’re actually excited to wear, as opposed to something that is trending, or something that looks great on someone else, but maybe isn’t very you. Shopping can be an emotional exercise (particularly when it’s a response to beauty culture), and any sort of compass that can help remind you of who you are and what you really like is a good defense to have when the algorithm is after your monies.
When I Do Shop:
Okay. Let’s say I put something on the list, and a few days later, I’m still thinking about it. Better yet, I’m still excited about it. It fills a gap or a hole in my wardrobe, and I can easily imagine wearing it three different ways with stuff I already have. Even if it’s a little different or wacky or wild, something about it still feels like me. So, the tab is open! There are three things I keep in mind before clicking “Add To Cart”:
1.) My Measurements
People sometimes really hate this part, and I get it. The world is at war with women’s bodies. But one good set of armor to have in that war is a closet of clothes that actually fit you. (I’ve talked about my love of tailoring.) If I’ve decided to go ahead with an online purchase, the starting-off place is always trying to buy clothes that will fit when they come out of the box.
To take your own measurements, all you really need to know is your bust (under and at the fullest point), waist (wherever you want your pants to fall), and hips (again, at the fullest point). Then, take stock of your unique physical qualities. If you have broad shoulders (I do!), take a shoulder measurement. Are you very tall? Grab your inseam. Get a friend to help you. Use a sewing tape measure. Put them in a Google Doc or in a note on your phone. While you’re at it, pull out a favorite dress, a pair of pants, and a shirt that fits you really well, and take the measurements of those items lying flat. Add that info to your doc. It’s all data! You will use that data when you look at an online sizing chart.
Once I have my measurements and am looking at a size chart, I pick the range that suits my personal data set the best. If I’m not sure, I generally have more success going slightly bigger, and then getting something tailored. It is my opinion that trying on a much anticipated fun purchase and finding that it’s way too small is not good for my soul.
Also! If they exist, check out the reviews! Check the three star or mid-range reviews. That’s often where you’ll find the most honest information on size and fit, like if something runs large or small, or if there are any idiosyncrasies with the product. (Five stars are usually one line raves—"love it!"—and one stars are angry customers.)
2.) Fabric and Fit
Do a quick look at the fabric composition—usually in a category titled “Details” or “Care and Composition.” Keep an eye out for good quality fabrics, like cotton, wool, linen, lyocell/Tencel, cashmere, and silk. But also, you don’t need to be a fabric expert: take a look at the model! If the material looks cheap in the photo, or the fit looks questionable, 100% it will be worse when you take it out of the box. Get back on the world wide web and find a better version of the same item. I also tend to gravitate towards clothing items that will be “flexible” in how they fit—items with adjustable straps or ties, with belt loops, or that would look cool if a little oversized.
3.) Sales
The other nice thing about my list is that I can keep an eye on an item that, with a little patience, might go on sale. Right now, everything is on sale. Sales are not great for the environment—they indicate a production surplus—but they are great for my wallet! And if I remember an item long enough to stick with it until the price drops, it is generally a good indicator that the new thing will be something I’m excited to wear, and will fill a hole in my closet.
Disclaimer: things that I find already on sale are the trickiest category! Sales usually come with a ticking clock—bad for impulse buying. If I catch something interesting for the first time and find it’s already on sale (with a time deadline), I’ll still try to wait for a few hours to see how I feel/avoid the trigger finger. In this scenario I also try to stick to buying from brands I’ve been a customer of before (an absolute MUST if something is final sale), or to referrals of good sale items from friends. The hot tip on the brown cardi in the photo above came via a text from my cousin, who was shocked by the quality for the price. It’s from Old Navy, if you can believe. (I can confirm it is so soft.)
To that point—when in doubt, text a friend! Everyone has the friend who’s going to be like “you don’t need it,” and the friend who’s going to be like “ooo I love!” Choose wisely (and whomever you choose to text might be a good sign of how much you really want the thing).
Okay my Christmas turkeys! Follow your joy, aim for good quality, beware the trigger finger, and do the best you can with what you have («life advice!). See you next week. (Next in the lineup is another amazing CLOSET SWAP, so excited.) And a very merry holiday season to you!
Costume Change is a styling newsletter (vs. a shopping newsletter). But you may have noticed that this week’s issue included some shopping links. Don’t worry, I still am not making any money (lol). But I AM experimenting with what makes this a maximum fun read! Thus the inclusion of a few shopping recs.
As always, I hope that Costume Change first and foremost provides you with inspiration to shop your own closet, rather than tempts you to buy a bunch of new stuff. Thanks for reading, and Happy Holidays!
Uh oh. I am the person with a million tabs open. 🫠