When The Day Calls For Soft Pants
Styling the elastic waistband.
For many years, I have been a person who loves Thanksgiving. “It’s my favorite holiday,” I’d say, without hesitation. But there’s a problem with that. Thanksgiving has come to us at a very great cost. A tragic one. One that, growing up, we tended to ignore or gloss over (at least in my community). This year, I’d like to hold myself more accountable. I felt this way before seeing Killers of the Flower Moon on Saturday. But seeing it emboldened me to acknowledge Thanksgiving’s tragic origins in a more real way than I’d previously written out for this week’s newsletter. That’s the power of great film, of great theatre. It cracks open the window of our humanity; it makes the far away, real. So although I will do many things I love on Thursday, I think it’s important for me to first state what Thanksgiving really is: a day of mourning.
It can feel dumb to talk about clothes in the same breath as our collective violent history. But that, more than ever, is our reality. If theatre is vital because it connects us to our empathic selves, then self expression is vital because it gives us agency. It announces our unique identity. So this year I’ll have to do both—remember, and find my way back to joy.
When it comes to the specific rituals of our national day of gratitude, there is a lot of good stuff to be thankful for: time with my people (I’ve had many a great Friendsgiving), rest and cozy clothes, cooking, dinner parties, movie nights, celebrating literally anything. For me, that’s where the joy lives. I am so grateful for my life and the humans in it! (As my best g Claire would say: we’re so lucky! we’re the luckiest girls in the world!) And this year, in a surprise twist, I will be spending the day with my family. IRL! A rare and wondrous gift for this actor bebe.
Our Thanksgiving day plan includes a family Turkey Trot (lol) followed by a lot of cooking and a lot of eating. This will call for soft pants. There is no other option! As a girl who just spent three months performing in a corset, I can say with certainty that restricting my digestion is a vibe killer. And for me the modern Thanksgiving holiday is a day that’s all about the vibe. Nothing like an elastic waistband to set yourself up for maximum vibes! Should I say vibe one more time?!
Because the celebrations will include my dad, whose enthusiasm for family gatherings tends to park at a 10, I am certain there will be many photographs taken, some way too close to my face (do your parents do this?), all of which will be included later in a shared digital album with a peak sentimental name, like “Special Times Full Of Gratitude With The Family: Thanksgiving, 2023.” SO. I could cook in my pajamas, or I could get pseudo-dressed for the sake of the family album. (You know which one I’m going to pick.) If you find yourself in a similar situation, this week my offering to you—besides my undying gratitude that you’re here!—comes by way of the following outfits, of varying formality, incorporating the most comfortable of pants.
We begin.
1.) Color (and Color Matching) as Decoy
I’ll give you that this outfit is kooky. But listen, if you look like you escaped from a nursing home, maybe your family will give you less to do? And I dig it. Never doubt the power of a little monochrome color matching to make something look intentional. Importantly!, I bet you no one notices, when taking in this color parade, that these are actually track pants. These particular pants are vintage—scored on an out-of-town gig—but I think you could achieve this look with any solid color track pant, like these (small disclaimer, I have found in the past that the Girlfriend Co. track pants run a little big). The takeaway here: if the pants are FUN, then you are free, my little brightly colored bird. And if color does not equal fun for you, here’s a version I wore on accident this week that sort of incorporates the same principle—fun pants/monochrome dressing:
Why not just go for it and match the gravy?! There’s a little color here (by way of the socks!)—but you get the picture. The color can be optional, the FUN is not. Soft pants can be fun pants! Add a little texture with the top! Throw on an earring! Live your life!
Moving on.
2.) The Enduring Power of a Button Down
Or a button up! These are basically black sweatpants, but the weight, straight leg, and slight ribbing helps me get away with treating them like hard pants. In fact, I think the outfit is more interesting/less trad because of it. A pretty flat shoe or a great boot dresses the whole thing up a bit. Topped with a collared shirt, plus a solid color sweater or sweatshirt (optional!), and I think these soft pants are prettyyyyy well disguised. That’s another point for the elastic waistband! The above pants are a million years old from Uniqlo, but these seem similar, these seem kind of luxe and soft, and these could make for a chic alternative.
3.) A Sneaky Layering Hack
Before you get upset! I know there are no pants in this picture! Okay! But the only thing better than soft pants is NO PANTS. And this dress is essentially just a big t-shirt—ideal when it comes to post-dinner movie watching. Layered under a denim maxi skirt with a nice belt, and all of a sudden it’s a cool, structured thing! And the layering gives an added texture bonus where the dress peeks out from the splits in the skirt. I think this trick would work with basically any structured maxi skirt over a dress or romper in a soft, wrinkle-resistant fabric. This particular skirt is an oldie, but you could try this one or this one (P.S. those seem slightly more straight in cut than mine). I also think you could find a skirt like this vintage! Any version with belt loops that holds its shape—denim, corduroy, etc.—would slot in well here. (I do think the belt helps make this whole thing look like it’s on-purpose.)
Here’s the same trick, but a different iteration:
This green romper situation (it’s weird! it’s fun!) holds its own in the summer with fancy sandals, but makes for a cheeky under layer when paired with a denim skirt.
Okay bebes! I hope your Friendsgivings, Thanksgivings, and your days in general are full of love and goodness and cozy clothes—disguised or not. I am thankful for you.
Costume Change is a styling newsletter (vs. a shopping newsletter). But you may have noticed that this week’s issue included some shopping links. Don’t worry, I still am not making any money (lol). But I AM experimenting with what makes this a maximum fun read! Thus the inclusion of a few shopping options. The items linked this week aren’t things I own myself, but they are from brands I have in my own closet. As always, I hope that Costume Change first and foremost provides you with inspiration to shop your own closet, rather than tempts you to buy a bunch of new stuff. Thanks for reading, and Happy Holidays!